I found this great post listing all sorts of websites that can help us lose weight by providing nifty graphs and extra accountability. Does anyone use any of these or are there any other tools that I’m missing?

I’m thinking of signing up for Gimme20 account and a traineo account.

Anything that helps right?

The other night I had the most realistic dream and it still haunts me in fact. When i was thin, I used to practice yoga regularly and go to classes alot. Well, in my dream, I was fat and I decided to go to a yoga class. Upon entering, the instructor redircted me to the back of the class along the wall and said, “large asses in the rear”. I noticed that my neighbors were a little on the heavy side too. I didn’t say anything for some reason and just went to the back. A couple more chubby girls came in after me and they were also pointed to the back.

That is really the extent of that dream, but oh how it fucked up my head when i woke up. I know how it made me feel and i sat there and analyzed why I felt that way. It made me feel like shit, but it’s all based on my subconscience feeling that because I’m fat I shouldn’t be doing yoga. Yoga is for health people and I’m not quite there yet.

Earlier in the day before I had that dream, i read someone’s blog about doing new exercises and someone made a comment that she too would pick up running when she slimmed down a bit. I remember thinking.. I’m glad I don’t have any shame. I will get outside in spandex and a tanktop with my ass jiggling all around for a good run. But, yoga didn’t even enter my mind–until i went to bed. When I woke I realized that I do have the same thoughts as the girl who wasn’t ready to run yet.. but for me it was yoga. I wasn’t ready to go into a yoga class yet for fear of looking like a total fat ass in the company of all of these strong and healthy people

Well, it was back to the gym for me today. It had been couple of months since i’ve been back but now that I’m not chasing little children around during the day, I don’t have any excuse NOT to go. I only did the elliptical machine, but as I left I went for a short run to stretch those muscles. It felt great. I think I’ll go back tomorrow.

Yes, I’m a dirty girl. No, I’m not talking about being a sexually depraved person (that’s an entirely different post)… I’m talking cleanliness here. I realize you are all probably about to vomit in your mouths, but let me continue please .

I think this has something to do with being able to work at home, but basically, I only shower every other day or so. I wonder if I’m alone in this. I’m sure those who work out of the home shower everyday, but do you do it on weekends as well?

I try and work out everyday and when I don’t have a full hour to devote to it, I will do a little in the morning, a little, in the afternoon, a little wherever I can fit in the time basically. Well, my rationale goes something like this:

I wake up… why should I shower when I’m about to work out. So after my workout when I’m able to rest, why don’t I shower then? Well, why get clean when I’d like to work out some more later if I get the time. This is a continuous cycle I’m afraid and yes, with this rationale I could really never shower, couldn’t I? I just shaved my legs the other day after a month of not. Today is Monday and I haven’t showered since Saturday. Will I shower today.. probably. But if I don’t need to do anything or see anyone, why should I shower after my workout tomorrow morning. I can just save a little extra water and shower on Wednesday.

Also, if I’m all clean and smelling delicious.. I don’t want to work out b/c I don’t want to get stinky. My head’s all jacked up

Okay.. proceed to vomit. Have a nice day.

I’m afraid of going to the gym….but I did it anyway. This may sound so silly but for the past 6 months, I have been avoiding the gym like the plague. I’d rather go run at the park or so exercises at home. I have a few reasons for this.

1. I always wonder what people think when a fat girl is at the gym. So many people are so fit and pretty that I just think I’d feel out of place and that with every step on the treadmill, I may break it

2. I used to go to the gym when I was thin. People would see me everyday working out. While I rarely talked to anyone, there was a familiarity there. Always a nod and a simple hi. How do I face these people now that I’m fat.

So, I said to myself screw it. I’m going. And I went. And it felt great. And I’ll go again. Yay me.

What are your fat-related fears?

When I woke I intended to just do my elliptical machine and my abdominal exercises, but that didn’t happen! I got up around 6 this morning, finally rolled out of bed around 7. Got on my elliptical machine for a good 25 minutes. Burned about 350 calories . Got some water and went to work for a bit. Had toast for breakfast and then did some crunches.

For reasons beyond my control I had to leave work this morning so I decided to make the most of that time and I went for a run. 30 minutes later I was feeling pretty good. The thing is, I feel like I could do more. Maybe I will lift some weights during the next world cup game!

Yay me!

This past week I’ve been getting better about my exercise, but I’m still not where I want to be. I expect to step it up tomorrow though. I didn’t take many opportunities for cardio last week. I ran twice and used the elliptical machine once. I tried to do my pushups and situps daily, but that didn’t happen. I was thinking of adding an exercise journal on the site here so I can update it daily and really take notice of how I’m doing. Tomorrow morning I will do my measurements for the week and let everyone know. Pound-wise things are about the same. Lost almost a pound but not quite so I don’t really count it.

I had a pretty good weekend. I spent most of it away from the computer and with my family. It was pretty relaxing. Tomorrow its back to the grindstone, I’m afraid. I have been enjoying the World Cup. Why does it have to only be on every 4 years. I think yearly would be awesome. Who do I call about that?

Hello? yes, this is Fat Girl. It really helps my days go by when I get to watch a bunch of good looking men sweat and play their asses off in a good game of soccer (football for you non-US types). Would you mind making this event yearly please? ok, wonderful. I’ll send candy.

When you are doing something as painful and dreadful as running, it helps if you are somewhere pretty like the beach or the park. I am not someone who can get on the treadmill and go for 30 minutes. But, if I’m outside I have no problems. It’s interesting that people are so different in that respect. I suppose we all have our “ideal” exercise conditions.

It’s been about a good month since I’ve run and a very long time since I’ve run regularly. So, when i ran 5k today, well, it kicked my ass. I had my music playing which is always nice. I jogged the first mile, walked 1/2 mile, ran another mile, walked 1/2, and then ran the remainder. Took me about 47 minutes, but there you go. I know people who can walk faster than that! There was a bike race running right outside of our race so that was fun to watch and it was a great motivator.

I feel great about the run and plan on going to the park tomorrow. Will probably just do 2 miles at the most though as I’d rather not die anytime soon . I’d like to keep this up, I just need to make sure i make time for it in my schedule.

One thing I know i need to do to get in shape is exercise. Well, I decided to jump right in and I’m registered for a 5k on Saturday. I have no doubt I will come in last. A year ago I used to run twice a day pushing both kids in a stroller. What the hell happened. Well, I became a big fat ass. I can blame it on hormones, changes in my body, pcos, anything really. But what it comes down to is I’m Fat and I need to change it. The best thing that works for me is exercise. It helps me both mentally and physically. Off I go!