No, no.. I’m not giving up sex. It would be a cold day in hell before I do that. I have a soda that I love to drink and i didn’t want to give it up at all. I’ve referred to this soda as liquid sex… it is so yummy but it is by far one of the worst sodas you could drink. It’s loaded with more soda than others and the caffeine is off the chart! It is my beloved Mountain Dew.

I gave it up the day I blogged about my breakfast of Mountain dew and Cheetos. I didn’t write about it because I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to give it up. I usually have 1 or 2 cans every morning and I really feel like I need it much like coffee drinkers need their coffee in the morning. It has actually been tough and I find myself longing for a mountain dew. It’s a fucking soda and I’m wanting it like I want to get laid….wtf is wrong with me?

I feel like I’ve broken up with a love that I’m not ready to give up!

I love you mountain Dew.. and I’m sorry.

I know we all give up things we like when we try to lose weight… but what are some things people have given up that has been EXTREMELY hard on them.. something they’ve had an emotional or physical (NO..not that you sickos) affair with?

The other night I had the most realistic dream and it still haunts me in fact. When i was thin, I used to practice yoga regularly and go to classes alot. Well, in my dream, I was fat and I decided to go to a yoga class. Upon entering, the instructor redircted me to the back of the class along the wall and said, “large asses in the rear”. I noticed that my neighbors were a little on the heavy side too. I didn’t say anything for some reason and just went to the back. A couple more chubby girls came in after me and they were also pointed to the back.

That is really the extent of that dream, but oh how it fucked up my head when i woke up. I know how it made me feel and i sat there and analyzed why I felt that way. It made me feel like shit, but it’s all based on my subconscience feeling that because I’m fat I shouldn’t be doing yoga. Yoga is for health people and I’m not quite there yet.

Earlier in the day before I had that dream, i read someone’s blog about doing new exercises and someone made a comment that she too would pick up running when she slimmed down a bit. I remember thinking.. I’m glad I don’t have any shame. I will get outside in spandex and a tanktop with my ass jiggling all around for a good run. But, yoga didn’t even enter my mind–until i went to bed. When I woke I realized that I do have the same thoughts as the girl who wasn’t ready to run yet.. but for me it was yoga. I wasn’t ready to go into a yoga class yet for fear of looking like a total fat ass in the company of all of these strong and healthy people

Breakfast of a champion right? more like breakfast of a fat girl . Yes, that is what I had for breakfast today. I know it’s pure crap, but it is what I wanted. I really wanted it last night but I put it off. See, I’m not really on a diet. I just watch my portions and I try not to eat junk. But if I feel I really need to eat the junk, I won’t den myself and instead of eating it right before bedtime i will wait until morning to eat it. There are a couple of benefits to this:

1. Obviously eating junk in the morning is better than eating it at the end of the day. I have all day to burn it off.
2. Quite often once morning comes, I don’t want the junk anymore. It’s kind of cool how that works.

Unfortunately, number 2 didn’t happend for me today. but that’s okay . tomorrow is another day and I’m out of cheetos