I wish I had a working scale as I think my body is doing good. I still haven’t had much time to workout, but I also haven’t had much time to think about food. I’ve been running all over the place and am just very busy that I haven’t had time to sit around and think, which so often can lead to sitting around and eating. I have also been eating smaller portions. Don’t worry, I’ve been a good girl and am getting my three meals a day; they are just relatively small in size and I haven’t had time to snack.

I hope to go for a jog tomorrow. The tires on my jogging stroller are a little flat, but I think they will hold up. I will make it my mission to get a couple new tires this week.

My assplosions have seemed to calm down although I have a new respect for the toilet Gods. I have learned not to anger them! We’ll see how that goes.

The past week has been pretty good. Haven’t gotten out and exercised much but I’ve been eating pretty well. I’ve done some physical exertion (NO im not talking about sex) but nothing too strenuous.

I’m pretty content with life right now and have accepted all of the changes to come. I’m ready to embrace them and make the most of it. I’ll be busy for a little while so it may be quiet on the Fat Girl front for a couple of weeks, but i will pop in and give my shout out whenever I can.

i of course will be reading everyone’s blogs. Can’t get enough of that!!

Holy Shit….. literally. I don’t think I’ve ever crapped so much in my entire lifetime This past week my rear has been glued to the toilet. My girlfriend said it’s a sign of stress. Well, this isn’t how I planned on losing weight. For not… it’s back to the toilet.

Flush.

The past year and a half of my life was an emotional roller coaster. I put on weight during this time and I have seemed to hold onto it. it’s almost like a security blanket in a sense. Once you finally accept yourself for being the weight you are, you get comfortable and kind of use it as a guard; you hide behind it.

I feel like this is what I’ve been doing for so long. There is some security in knowing that the people closest to you will always accept you and love you no matter your size. But there is also that fear of rejection. I don’t know how many times I’ve avoided certain situations b/c i was afraid people would not look at me..but instead look at my fat and judge me.

It seems counter-productive that what makes you feel bad (the fat) also makes you feel safe. Pretty twisted, but I think that is what has been happening.

This past week has been the beginning of the peak of this long ride and I expect it to last just a few more weeks before I finally start to descend. because of events that have happened in this week though, it has really prompted me to do a lot of soul searching and I’ve realized it’s time to let go of what’s comfortable. Of all of the things that make me feel safe and basically just go for it… It is my time. Expect many ups and downs from me, but expect results. I have no doubt I have the motivation right now…so let’s hope it stays that way!

The past couple of weeks have been EXTREMELY busy for me in all respects of my life. I’ve got quite the pile on my desk work-wise, my friends want to spend lots of time with me as I do them, and of course my life at home is crazy! I feel like I’m constantly on the go and i just want to get off this ride! That is life I guess, and this particular month just seems to be one of those hectic ones. The downside is I really don’t have anytime to take care of myself the way I should be. I’m eating okay I guess. Not bad, but not entirely good. Just kind of getting by. The part that really sucks is I haven’t had anytime to exercise. I could really use it just to help with the stress. Working out has always been a big stress relief for me and i could use it now more than ever.

Fortunately, there is an end to this madness in sight, but it won’t come for a couple weeks and at that point, the feeling of GO-GO-GO, is going to have a dramatic 180 degree and I think I will be quite down.

You see, I have a lot of things going on in my life right now.. a lot of changes. My biggest fear is the fear of the unknown and that is where I’m heading in life. I am moving and will need to meet new friends, etc.

so much to say here! I will write further on this later.. in the meantime, back to the insanity!