At least I’m not THAT Fat
July 21st, 2006Yesterday I was out somewhere and I saw some people who were most likely a good 100 pounds heavier than me. I noticed I was comparing myself to them. Look at her stomach. At least mine is MUCH smaller than theirs. Just recently I was sitting in a waiting room and there was a girl in there sitting with her husband and she couldn’t fit in the chair. Granted these weren’t the biggest chairs, but she had to turn sideways to fit in it. I noticed myself looking down and seeing how much room there was between my hips and the side of the chair.
What this comes down to is I’m a bitch. What right do I have to compar myself to anyone really. I started wondering if people who were thinner than me were thanking their God, Buddha, flavor of the week, that they weren’t as fat as me. Well, that obviously didn’t make me feel very good. If I was doing it, surely someone else was too. I know I’m not the only self-conscience bitch out here.
The more i thought about it the more i realized why I did that. When I looked at these people I wasn’t thinking.. ewww yuck. I was trying to make myself feel better about my own size. Since being fat, I’ve come a long way with accepting my body size. I really believe that before you can change something about yourself, you need to learn to accept what you have. When I started gaining weight, I used to wear baggy clothes an try to hide myself. I thought if the clothes were baggy enough, no one would notice. I’ve changed that and will even wear form-fitting clothes that highlight parts of my body that i like.. tastefully of course.
I’m curious as to if other people have done this or if i AM the only rotten one? see again, i’m looking for company in my misery :/
Hi, FG! Oh, of course I’ve done that. I see people who are freakishly overweight, and it’s all I can do to not stare open mouthed! Putting some rare medical reasons aside, I know how HARD I had to work to get up to 250 pounds…how hard does someone have to WORK to get up to 350? 400? Yikes…must have been a full time thing. BUT, I also compare myself to thin people. I think: *sigh* I’m so much fatter than they are. I wonder if they’re looking at me thinking: OH, my…and I’m sure they are!
Comment by FatMom — July 21, 2006 @ 12:13 pm
Oh geez, then I am a super bitch because I even ask my husband….”fatter or thinner” as we walk by people (quietly of course). At Disneyland the other day, I noticed it a lot; and I realize that I too did not do it to put down or think less of anyone else but to be thankful that my tummy was not hanging below my thighs or my ass wasn’t disproportianate to the rest of my body. I think it is human nature, even if we hate to admit that we do it.
Comment by Hilly — July 21, 2006 @ 1:04 pm
Heeeeeeeeeeeey I do EXACTLY the same thing! I was playing cricket last weekend and a girl who was bigger than me stepped up to bat and was hopeless, and I started thinking, “Oh its because of those massive chunky legs - look at them! My legs aren’t that big!”, and it took a few minutes before I realised, “Heck, what am I DOING?!” And then I saw why she was hopeless at batting - she was holding the bat wrong, standing incorrectly, and not picking the pitch of the ball correctly. All to do with skill. NOT weight. Yet which one did I pick up on straight away?
So FG, you’re definitely not the only one out there! (in fact, I’ve got a post sitting in draft on this VERY subject! YOU STOLE MY THUNDER! But I’m glad that you brought it up, now I know I’m not the only one who does this, way-hey!)
Comment by Marshmallow — July 21, 2006 @ 10:07 pm
I do the exact same thing. You are not awful. It’s not that I am disgusted looking at people fatter than me… but rather, still disgusted with myself. Like the poster above, my husband has started comparing me to obviously fatter people as well. I think he picked it up from me. I always tell him, “Honey, that’s not nice because other women’s husbands are probably thinking that about ME.” Sigh…
Comment by Bethanne — July 22, 2006 @ 4:03 pm
Hi!!
Thanks for visiting my blog - I’m super excited to have won the extreme makeover, and it’s amazing how it’s really keeping me on track and helping me to stick to my guns. I agree - Jon is SUPER easy on the eyes, I would’ve posted more about him, but my extreme makeover blog is open to everyone I know offline - including all of the sponsors, so I didn’t want to horribly embarrass myself. But he sure makes it easy to wake up early and go workout!
I’m guilty of comparing myself to anyone and everyone. And yes, I do think mean thoughts when I see someone heavier than I am. But I’m trying to change that - I mean, I feel bad when a skinny minny makes a cutting remark to me, so I shouldn’t perpetuate the circle of meanness by doing the same thing. I’m reading this great book called “Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth about Women, Body Image, and Re-imagining the “Perfect Body”.” by Leslie Goldman. It’s really opened my eyes and helped me to see that I’m not alone. It’s a good read if you’re interested
Have a great week!
Comment by Michelle — July 23, 2006 @ 1:42 pm
You are so not alone!! I always compare myself to others and I also feel horrible doing so. I think it is very normal to do that though. I am finding myself a lot more judgmental about bigger people too lately and I really don’t like that part of me. I am by no means perfect or even close to it yet but I know I will get there soon
At least we are all doing something about it now! We should feel very proud of that.
Don’t stress, at least it is keeping you motivated by looking at others.
Comment by bee — July 24, 2006 @ 6:02 am
Obviously you are not alone in doing this. It makes me feel awful when I do it though.
Comment by rebeka — July 25, 2006 @ 6:37 pm
Sometimes the comparison was cutting for the people doing it. People did that to me without realizing they were bigger. a lot of people are “Denial” of size. They feel unsafe when I started to lose too. How dare I not be the fat one?
There lots of great people in this world of all sizes.
Comment by Iportion — August 4, 2006 @ 1:58 am
I used to be skinny and think the same thing about fat people: gross, no self control, I’d never let myself get like that, etc. Now I’m the one who can fit in a chair or see my feet. It bothered me that people thought, “what happened to her?” as I was gaining weight, but after a certain point I stopped caring and am much happier that way. Now I think, “those poor skinny girls who are always on a diet - at least I can eat whatever I want!”
Comment by Angie — September 21, 2007 @ 12:13 am